How to cope with teenagers: problems and solutions

Every phase of parenting is difficult and excited at the same time but teen hood is a complex phase of life for every child as well as for its parents. Every teen age boy and girl goes through many physical, emotional and social changes. Teenagers and their parents might be dealing with many issues at this age. They may have conflicts with each other.  In most of the families, parents want to control their teenage children and assert their lives to a large extent. On the other hand, teenagers have their own ideas and beliefs and their parents often fail to make them understand. So they argue and have conflicts to each other.

There are so many other challenges and issues in a teenager life include:

Hormonal changes

The most significant issue of this age is hormonal changes in their body which effect their emotions and their social life too. These changes are the major reasons of mood swings, weight gain, irregular periods, fatigue and many other changes in teenagers.  They notice tremendous changes in their body. Even some teenagers deal with some serious issues like depression also. These hormonal changes affect the way of their thinking too.

Social changes

Their social behavior also changes with their age. They pull away from their parents and their peer groups become more important now.  When children become adolescents, they begin to spend more time with their friends and less time with their families. As teen ager they seek more freedom and begin to annoy more when interrupted.  They influence more by friends now and communicate in different ways.

During adolescent, they begin to explore romantic relationships and sexuality.  Teenagers begin to seek out new experiences and attract more towards risk taking tasks.

Behavior of parents

On one hand, teenagers are suffering from the changes of their body; their parents also make it difficult for them.  Though they know that their children are moving towards their youth and they know about the issues of that age, they make it more complex for them.

It is often seen that there is a lack of communication between parents and their children which is a very important issue of this period. Several parents find their teens impolite, ill-mannered and disagreeing with them. Parents also try to intrude on their teen’s privacy which makes them upset and they become rebellious.

In this age teens don’t like unnecessary advice all the time, especially from their parents. When parents want to control their teen’s life, teenagers become more rebellious. On the contrary, if parents give them much freedom to their teens, it has negative impact on them.

It is quite possible in this age to have attraction towards evil deeds and this is the supreme concern of parents of teenagers. This fear of parents makes a conflict between teen agers and their parents.

Pressure

A person deals with utmost pressure in its teen hood. A teen ager deals with the pressure of his parents, societal pressure, academic pressure and sometimes pressure of his peers too along with hormonal changes. Parents keep high unrealistic expectations with them due to which they come under a lot of pressure.

Comparison

Sometimes parents compare their teenage children with their peers or siblings which make them aggressive and put a very bad effect on their emotional growth. It can damage their self confidence too.  Many parents keep complaining about their children to t friends and relatives again and again which make them more annoying and breed a toxic environment between. Children may also start complaining about their parents and then this becomes a vicious cycle.

As a parent you can help your teen during adolescence by doing these following things:

Talk to them and share your experiences

Everyone goes through this age and has different experience of it but the above challenges and issues remain same for every teenager. You may help your teen to share your experiences as a teen ager and tell them about your issues and how you confronted those issues.

 One thing I want to add here is that when you think that your children are going to enter in their adolescence soon, tell them about the changes their body is going under through so that they will be mentally prepare for that changes. Like tell your girls about menstruation before they get started their periods. If a girl is unaware about that natural process before, it will be like a trauma for her.

When you think it’s a right time, give your young adults education of sexuality also so that they do not get wrong information about it.

Make them aware about the evil deeds

 Adolescence is a very fragile age. Teen agers are more prone to be attracted to those things which are harmful to them. Children are vulnerable to social evils early in their youth.  So you have to be more careful as a parent of a teen. Talk with them about harmful addictions like smoking and drugs, tobacco and alcohol. Tell them about their bad effects because they can get addicted to these evils deeds in their adolescence.

Tell them about the dangers of the digital world and teach them about digital safety.

Listen to them carefully

 When children move forward to their puberty, they have so many queries. The level of their curiosity is sky-high at that time. They may have several questions related to that. Listen to them carefully and satisfy their curiosity by giving them appropriate answers or else they may find these answers in a wrong way that will be harmful to them. Be ready to address their problems.

Respect their opinions

Teenagers have their way to understand the situation and they suggest accordingly. Don’t stop them by thinking of them as kids. By doing so you may destroy their sense of self. Listen to them without judging them is also very important. Listen to their suggestions carefully and respect their opinions will be a positive impact on their personality.

Understand them

As a teen ager, they have different requirements and priorities than before.  Being a parent you must understand that and fulfil their requirements accordingly. Along with this, parents should also make their teenagers aware of the right and wrong demands.

Compliment them

 Encourage them to achieve their goals. Compliment them and celebrate their efforts and achievements.  Teenagers have so many physical, emotional and intellectual changes along with other pressures. In such a situation, celebrate even their smallest success.    

Don’t impose your decision on them

Your children are young adults now.  They have their own opinion and choices now. If you find their opinions and choices inappropriate talk to them and tell them the reason behind that but don’t claim your authority on them. Talk to them without being dictating.

Respect their privacy

Treat your teens as an individual. Respect their need for privacy. Keep an eye on them but don’t be overprotective. If you want them to trust you and tell you everything, you have to trust them first. Build an honest relationship with your teens before becoming their friends.

Introduce them to good habits

Encourage them to get involved socially. Talk to them about self-worth. Encourage them to eat healthily and educate them about the benefits of taking enough sleep and being physically active.

Parenting is a tough job and handling a teenager is even harder than you think. But trust your parenting instincts and do that for your children which you think is best for them.

To conclude, I just want to share a Sanskrit Shlok here to clear the thought that what parents of teenagers should do: 

लालयेत्पञ्च्वर्षाणि दशवर्षाणि ताडयेत् 

प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रं मित्रवदाचरेत्

 It means " Up to the age of five love your child a lot, up to the age of ten be strict with them, but when the child reaches the age of sixteen treats him like a friend. 

I hope you have a clear picture about adolescent. If you find this article useful, let us know in the comments section.